> > Economics made easy

> >

> > TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

> > You have two cows.

> > You sell one and buy a bull.

> > Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

> > You sell them and retire on the income.

> >

> > ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

> > You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed

> > company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at

> > the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general

> > offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for

> > five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an

> > intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the

> > majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to

> > your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight

> > cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new

> > president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No

> > balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

> >

> > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

> > You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the

> > milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

> >

> > A FRENCH CORPORATION

> > You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

> >

> > A JAPANESE CORPORATION

> > You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size

> > of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then

> > create clever cow cartoon images called ‘Cowkimon’

> > and market them

> > World-Wide.

> >

> > A GERMAN CORPORATION

> > You have two cows.

> > You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,

> > and milk themselves.

> >

> > A BRITISH CORPORATION

> > You have two cows.

> > Both are mad.

> >

> > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

> > You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.

> > You break for lunch.

> >

> > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

> > You have two cows.

> > You count them and learn you have five cows.

> > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

> > You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.

> > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

> >

> > A SWISS CORPORATION

> > You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.

> > You charge others for storing them.

> >

> > A CHINESE CORPORATION

> > You have two cows.

> > You have 300 people milking them.

> > You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.

> > You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

> >

> > AN INDIAN CORPORATION

> > You have two cows.

> > You worship them.

Author unknown